Are you walking through a transition or do you see one on the horizon? They are exciting and excruciating, they have been handed to us at a moment we never saw coming, or maybe you have been planning this transition for over a year now. Whatever or however it has been announced to you, you may be feeling a bit frazzled, anxious, fearful, or angry.
I was having coffee with my son a few weeks ago and we discussed retirement and the things that go along with it. It struck me that it was not far off for me. A transition to look forward to. However, looking forward to what is ahead doesn’t help me in the present with the transitions I’m walking through currently.
This has been the biggest transition year since I divorced and became an empty nester at the same time. I didn’t ask for all of these transitions but made the choices in some ways to put things into motion.
When life hits you with a force of transitions, some chosen and some not, it can leave you feeling fragmented and urgent. You thought you were going in this direction but then life happens. It produces a sea of anxiousness and a valley of doubt.
Since July of 2022, I’ve moved and this adjustment has been monumental. To lower expenses, I moved into a house with 4 other people and 3 dogs. I’m so grateful for this place! However, as a writer, this is challenging, because there is no quiet space to work. So, my coffee bill has exploded as I’ve found cute coffee shops to write in. (I honestly don’t mind the expense) Living alone with my dog to where I am now, is different. Adjusting to everyone’s schedules, and personalities, and just learning to live with someone other than your dog, is hard. Nothing wrong with it, just new. Trying to find the new norm. There have been drastic transitions at work this year, well quite frankly, the past 3 years. It has been rough is an understatement. We have a new member joining the family in mid-June and we are so excited! My youngest son has moved to a different city and now we all have to make a concerted effort to get together. It was easy before, and now only mildly challenging, but still a transition. It’s just been a lot.
None of these things are noteworthy as stressors but when added up,
they lead to overwhelm mode. Talk about fragmented and urgent!
Here’s where I’ve found it the most difficult: my sense of direction in every area of my life. You like that? Every area.
As I begin to defragment my life and remember who and what God’s purpose for me there was a dawning moment when I woke up, acknowledged it, and realized I had to start. I had to remove the excess noise and find my source of balance.
The start of defragmentation is finding the pieces that are no longer needed. To do this, you have to be in a place where the constant stream of loudness is put in its place. Quiet does this. What is not working? What needs to leave? Who needs to go? What negative thoughts or just plain overthinking thoughts are preventing you from moving forward?
Defragmenting clears the clutter both figuratively and literally.
The first thing you must do is get in the space of quiet. Silence. Not where I am now in a coffee shop, with music, and loud conversations going on around me. Where do you get quiet? Or do you even get quiet? Think for a moment about what that is for you. Write it down.
I just keep remembering my 16-day camping trip last summer. Silence, quiet, hiking, sitting in front of the campfire, and listening to the river run beside me. I wrote a lot during those 16 days. I was able to clear my head and pray that what I wanted and what God wanted coincided to be the same thing.
In the book A Rhythm of Prayer by Sarah Bessey, this quote woke me up: “Become acquainted with the silence in your own soul; you might be surprised by the sound of you.”
What do you sound like?
Currently, I sound like a chorus in a different language. No really, I can’t seem to find the beat or the right key at times. I’m working on this. I don’t have it figured out. The pressure I put on myself is real. “Get this figured out!” I’m listening and what I’m hearing is a cymbal crash through the fog in my brain and knocking me to my feet.
Then you make a move.
You move into the purpose you are crystal clear is yours alone. Not anyone else’s purpose. I get stuck here if I’m honest. You see, I like to have my board of directors tell me what I need to be doing. I’m learning that I can trust myself and make decisions that I can join in without asking permission first.
I have to have daily reminders to drive a little under the speed limit. I don’t have the band-with to keep up with others. I don’t want to be a race car driver either. It leads to rushing, mistakes, and terrible content. Slow and steady. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46.10
My movement came when I decided to join a beta group of women entrepreneurs who are where I am. ( I didn’t ask permission from anyone.) Some of them are more advanced than I am, but it is beneficial to learn their expertise and get their feedback on the items I’m working on. (Asking for feedback and putting yourself out there is hard) It was time to transition into my purpose by digging a tunnel through the mountain so I didn’t have to see the scenic view yet, one more time.
This has made me try things, I’ve been afraid to try. Developing systems and using different forms of applications to move forward in my dream. Not going to lie, but it moves me out of my stagnant comfort zone. I’m in an unknown melody right now.
It has also expanded my circle of fellow women who are busting it to do what God has purposed them to do.
Next, I’m learning to map it out. Listen as your coach, it’s so much easier mapping it out for you, but for myself, yikes!
Map it out and make a game plan. There is a game plan for every season. I’m in the middle of doing this now. There are tools out there that help put order to your messiness. Look at your calendar and put it on there. I’ve made it a habit to put down when I’m working on the business and when I’m writing. Otherwise, I don’t do it.
Letting go.
I’ve learned to let go of some things that were sucking my time from me. They were good things. This is the hardest one for me. But if I want to transition into coaching and writing, I have to be okay with letting go.
What we don’t let go of are the things that keep us physically, mentally, and emotionally level.
The sound of me is a chorus. I’m still trying to learn the lyrics and I’m way off-key! ( In reality, I have zero hope of ever being in the right key.) I’m groping for the melody and hoping that the bridge sounds like God is pleased with where I am going.
Remember, find the quiet, move into your purpose, make a plan, and let go of some things weighing you down. Sing your chorus to the beat of the drum God is playing for you. Just enjoy a quiet patio listening to the sound of you!
If you find yourself in a transition currently that is causing you to find a new normal or if you need some guidance or a coach to listen and help you dig the tunnel, DM me or send me an email. I’m happy to set up a 30-minute call with you to help begin your game plan.